BFFs in Boston

Every morning, I ride the first car of the T into work. I don't have any particular reason to always choose the first car. Rather, I just like to stand in a certain place and the first car always stops there.

Usually, there's nothing particularly special about my commute, where I sit or what I hear. Mornings are quiet on the T. Everyone is sleepy and, on my line, few students are up yet for classes. I mostly ride in with other young professionals who live in my neighborhood and work downtown.

You could say that I ride in with people that "have it all together." They at least exude professionalism, class and control. Control seems to be a big deal with my fellow commuters. Isn't it a big deal for all of us?

This morning, one of the doors of our train was malfunctioning. I happened to be sitting next to the driver and heard his conversation. We almost hit a car, the train went into emergency mode, emergency mode keeps the doors from opening, etc. Well, a malfunctioning door, in my mind, is nothing to get too excited about. Did I tell you about the time last month when the brakes of my train went out? That was something to get excited about.

I chose to spend the extra time we had being thankful that I had a seat, thankful we hadn't hit the car and, truth be told, making a to-do list of the myriad things I need to get done this weekend. My fellow commuters, however, took the time to roll their eyes, sigh heavily, give themselves wrinkles, and take turns hopping up and starting into the cockpit area of the train. Did any of them have great insights into why the train doors wouldn't open? No. Not at all, but they wanted the control.

I get it. It feels good to have control over parts of your life. I'm glad that I have control over whether or not I get enough sleep or go to the gym or spend all of our money on handbags and shoes. Still, you hit a point where you've got to realize how little you have control over and just let it go. I hit my point in Europe and I highly recommend international travel with very little money and a new husband in a country where you don't know the language to teach you a few lessons about what you should actually freak out about. Listen, I didn't get worked up when Nathan and I were told we were going to be arrested in Bulgaria and I'm not about to get worked up over a malfunctioning door.

Things are a little rough right now. It's true. We've got front-row seats to all sorts of crazy happenings: significant problems in the financial sector, changing views of America at home and abroad. Heck, I've got wild turkeys "terrorizing" my neighborhood.

Personally, Nathan and I are waiting on all sorts of things. Does it drive me crazy a bit? Do I wish that I could press fast forward to get to the time where we'll have all the answers? Sure, but I will never be able to fast forward my life. I can choose to give myself wrinkles and high blood pressure like the rest of the Green line commuters, or I could simply admit that I'm not in control. More than that, I can choose to still be productive with the time that I have right now and anticipate the beauty of seeing God's plan unfold in my life.